


Back to you

by YourBlueFantasy



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, The Grandmaster of Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Death, Hallucinations, Other, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourBlueFantasy/pseuds/YourBlueFantasy
Summary: Xiao XingChen is dead. Xue Yang still felt it was a dream. None of his plans had gone the way he wanted and regret seeped through every inch of his body. He had finally killed the last person who really cared for him. Madness was just a step away.
Relationships: Xiǎo Xīngchén & Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi, Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Back to you

Defeated he layed on the ground, nothing was left fo him except to die. With both of them dead, the little blind and Xiao Xingchen, he could finally say he was all alone once again. Not that he wasn’t used to it, again, he rather roam on his own in this world. Unless people were useful, he found them to be too much. He had had a handful of mischiefs done already. Yet, he couldn’t help but wonder, what would happen to his soul? Not his, **his.**

The dust was covering his clothes, and the fog still surrounded him. He was done. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to lower his breathing and his mind to wander off, thinking… vaguely remembering stuff. If only if only… maybe with Xiao Xingchen fighting next to his beloved friend, he would have had a chance. Nevertheless, that thought didn’t bring any comfort to his mind. He still wasn’t able to get a grasp of what he wanted. He felt empty. It hurt, all of his body ached in pain while the blood left his corpse – at least what was left of it. He just couldn’t focus. 

Suddenly, a warm feeling of numbness expanded through his limbs, now three, up to his head, hastily and steadily. He could no longer hear voices and was trapped in his mind while time passed slowly.  
Thinking back, it was a shame… his eyes stll shut were unable to open, his thoughts liked to guide themselves. He could not control what his head was thinking. And he found himself standing in front of the coffin house once again, groceries on one hand, an apple in the other one. Unable to understand he was stunned as the air carried his voice. “Are you there?” . He looked up as if it was a dream. _Am I dead?_ He wondered.

“Of course, who else would it be?” He smiled nonchalantly as he walked in.  
  
“What did you bring?” Xiao Xingchen moved grazefully, not even brushing him, a breeze of air was all that was left behind his footsteps, not even the sound echoed.  
  
“Just some vegetables that were available and rice.”  
  
“Perfect, we can eat congee tonight” Grabbing the basket he went to heat the water to start preparing the soup dish.

Looking around he could not hear nor find the blind girl. “Where is little blind?”

“She went out to walk for a while.” He answered briefly while concentrating on cooking. Xue Yang kept silent as he observed him move carefully, totally aware of his surrounding. Xiao XingChen erved them some soup, strangely enough there was no third plate. “Careful, it is still hot.”  
  
Confused, Xue Yang just decided to follow what he said, he was a little surprised they hadn’t waited for the maiden to come up to eat aswell. Maybe he could just enjoy himself without having to hear her nagging Xiao Xingchen or swallowing nastily. He looked at him, he was acting like he normally did.  
  
“How is your leg healing?” That question, coming out of the blue, took him by surprise.

“It’s healing.” He responded without much thought to it. He couldn’t help but look down, was he back in time? The bandages on his leg were white. He had noticed a nag while walking but he ignored it as he usually did with the pain. The talk didn’t go any further. Xue Yang was really lost in thought when he stood up, a pain really sharp stung his whole back at once, with just a minimun huh of complain out of his mouth Xiao Xingchen was already paying him attention. “Is everything alright?”

He decided to push it a little bit, “It hurts, on my way back I sprung my other ankle.” He sat on the table once again.  
  
“Why didn’t you say so before?” He sounded a little worried.

“I didn’t want you to worry. Besides, I am excited for tonight’s night hunt. If I said something you wouldn’t have wanted me to go” Without a warning his ankle was already in his firm grip. Carefully examining it with his hands, he just asked him to stay put and took out some ointments. He removed his boot and rolled up his undergarment to touch the bare skin, sending shivers down Xue Yang’s spine. After his warm touch and some added bandages, he looked up straight to his face. If he weren't blind, Xue Yang might have even doubted he could see right through him. “Excuse me.” He felt his hand slip under his knees and behind his back. In that moment, Xue Yang realized he was holding his breath, yet, he couldn’t let it out, his mind withholding any kind of response or snarky comment he could elaborate.

One would imagine that being blind as he was, Xiao XingChen would have bumped Xue Yang’s body accidentally into some furniture on the way, but with amazing abilities to detect his surroundings, the cultivator was able to lay him on the only bed in the entire residence. “Do I look like a damisel in distress?”

“I wouldn’t be able to tell.” For once, Xiao Xingchen smiled following his gig, he found himself doing it more and more often lately.  
  
“Your eyes… ” Unable to look away he could see how the bandages had turned a reddish color. As if it was a reflex Xiao Xingchen rose his hand up to his eyes as his smile wavered a bit. He took out some bandages for him as well from his qiankun sleeve. “May I?” After all this time he was unable to see his lovely gift. Doubtful rather than worried Xiao Xingchen allowed him to do it. He sat next to him with his face calm and unchanged, Slowly and carefully Xue Yang hand’s surrounded his head finding the knot hidden between his long black hairs. Untiying it was a small challenge while his hands shivered with excitement as if he was unwrapping a bag full of his favorite candy. Then, an ice bucket fell on his shoulders, rather than feeling jolt or happiness, he felt disgusted with himself. He tried to burry those feelings deep inside and kept silent, avoiding saying anything hurtful. He brushed his hand under his eyes without pressing too much. For some reason, he wanted to not hurt him. Before, he would have pocked both of his empty holes with his thumbs until he would make him jolt out of pain, but he now found himself unable to do so. Carefully placing a bandage four fingers wide back at its place he moved backwards. “Thank you”

Unable to move while those words sunk onto him, Xue Yang stared blankly at his face, He didn’t recall the last time he had heard somebody thanking him for anything. Jumping a little as Xiao Xingchen moved his hands once again he felt a little storm whirl his thoughts around. After just a few seconds his eyes layed upon a set of five long and slender fingers, he was holding two sweets on its palm

Without a second glance at it Xue Yang snatched out both of them joyfully, feeling like a kid. A quiet and soft chuckle came from the contrary’s throat. “What?” He said feeling as if he was being judged.

“Nothing.” He softly answered, still carrying that smile on his lips, which grew larger.

Xue Yang felt inmmediately annoyed. A smirk was brought on his face when a not so innocent thought came to mind. An idea popped in his head, one that would ensure that smile to disappear. “Would you like a sweet too?”

“They are for you and A-Qing.” Hearing her name did no more than to add to the fire already inside Xue Yang’s mind.

“But I want to share them…” He almost sounded like he was pouting. ´

“Okay then, lets share one each.”

“I already have both inside my mouth though. Here, have this one,” He got as close as he could to his face, yet, Xiao Xingchen didn’t move or flinched. On the contrary, as he felt something approach he opened his lips and took it in his mouth. Yet it wasn’t anything else than Xue Yang’s bottom lip he suctioned gently.

Both jolted and moved an inch back. Xue Yang stared at him, blood running wild as his heart roared inside his chest pulsating really hard. No more than a second later Xiao Xingchen as a gentleman he was he started apollogizing. “I am sorry, I…”

No. More. Words. Spoken. On its own, Xue Yang’s face moved towards him, launching himself into that kiss. Feeling deaf as blood run wild through his ears. All he could thing about was _more._ He wanted more. Sliding his tongue through the other`s lower lip he wasn’t able to resist no longer. Xue Yang felt a response when the lips spread open as an invitation to move forward. He felt his body be moved backwards by the need and force in which their lips clashed together. Xiao Xingchen moved rather shyly and carefully, so as not to push too much while Xue Yang grew greedier with need, loosing his hands in those black and long strands of hair he had just touched moments ago.

Without wanting to, both lips parted, grasping for a breath of air to fill their lungs. “I thought you said you didn’t want candy” Xue Yang could not refrain from doing a snarky comment in a moment like this. Yet, no longer than what a second later he felt his lips to be embraced once again with that warm and soft touch, as his hands were grabbed almost lovingly. He slid his tongue once again, finding another one who fought back as well, sliding the candy away from Xue Yang’s tongue. The sweet flavor tainted their kiss. A few drops of rain fell onto Xue Yang’s face, running down his cheeks as he felt Xiao Xingchen`s graps on his hands increase in streght, mostly on his left hand.

He opened his eyes to watch the sky, nevertheless, the stray ceailing was well fixed by that time. Touching his face he saw it was blood and inmmediately looked at Xiao Xingchen. “Your eyes…” He said once again, as he saw how two blood tears started running down his cheeks. The grasp on his left hand felt looser and looser until he couldn’t feel it anymore. He tried grabbing him. “Xiao Xingchen, Xiao Xingchen” His voice once again came back to normal, while it became squeakier and squeakier. Blood ran from his neck as well, like a freshly cut wound, staining even more the white clothes the other one wore. His body slid like sand through his fingers becoming like fog. One blink and he found him laying on the coffin, with his eyes closed and his arms in a resting position. He looked so peaceful.

Coughing he found himself once again on the floor, if he could, he would have brushed his lips with his left hand. With his eyes stlll shut, a tear run down his cheek as he felt the wrapping paper of the candy sunk into the fingers of his right hand. _I am sorry, Xiao Xingchen._

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I must disclose my thoughts as regards to this couple. I feel that having been raised in such a hectic enviroment, Xue Yang never understood what feeling loved was. So in my head I picture XXC to have liked XY as a friend and XY to have fallen in love with XXC because of his treatment towards him.  
> Tell me what's your take on this.


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